Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Should Tom get a tat of Sponge Bob? Or should he go off on her like Obama's translator?




So this is a hard decision for me. I have gone all of my live without hitting the ink. I have been dreaming about getting a tattoo on by frontal investment. (No, not there!) I must be going through a midlife crisis or something? Anyway, I made some suggestions to my wife, and she hates them all. I thought maybe a tat of Kermit spanking Ms. Piggy would be cool? Or maybe even a slab of bacon in a frying pan with my domain name underneath? Nothing I came up with seemed to be a good idea. So my wife always has an opinion when it comes to art. Back in 9th grade she won the best of show for use of pastels on art board, and simultaneously won the spelling bee the same year! She is a true artist and competent speller. Somehow as fate would have it, she gave up a career in art for a quick marriage. The twins weren't mine, but I wanted to do the right thing by marring her. If you ever saw the movie, "Me, Myself & Irene", it was loosely based on her relationship with a vertically challenged truck driver that stopped frequently at the Lucky Lou Truck Stop where she worked at the time. One thing led to another and she got dumped off after he discovered she was 3 months pregnant. The difference in real life is that she eventually came back to me, and our kids are better at basketball than scholastics.You'll have to watch the movie to fully understand.

Any who, I fell asleep in the easy chair this morning after a big bacon breakfast, and awoke to my wife on her knees fondling my belly. For a moment, I felt like a teenager again in the back of my Dad's Buick Electra 225... then I realized that she was down there finishing up a homemade tattoo idea she had. I was able to stop her before she drew Patrick in a compromising position. In a conversation with an R&D team leader at the Sharpie Corporation, the maker of the markers; I found out that the markers wear off in about 2 weeks. My wife wants me to get your opinion on what you think I should get as a permanent tattoo. If it helps in your decision making process, my wife has a tattoo of a penicillin syringe on her backside and the individual signatures from every player of her favorite football team. I don't really care for football that much, so probably something pork related is best?

Take care and be sure to let me know what you think.

- Tom Macon

P.S. When I say go off crazy like Obama's translator, here's what I mean:




9 comments:

  1. I think your wife is onto something here... just let her add Patrick running away from Sponge Bob with a slab of bacon. It could be a cool scene. Also, watch out for Mr. Crabs. (from your wife that is!)

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  2. OMG, the video on Obama is so funny. And so much truth to it. You know that dude wants to say those things for real!

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  3. Pookey Devante WilliamsJanuary 13, 2012 at 9:01 PM

    If only Obama had the balls to say it like that in real life yo... man the MF crackers would crap their Newt Gingrich shorts!

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  4. Quit dissing my man Obama. This here sites for bacon lovers you damn fools.

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  5. I wish Obama really said what was on his mind like in the parody... what a trip!

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  6. This video cracked me up! I showed my hubby and he laughed his ass off.... He told me that Obama should actually say this on his state of the union address lol. I would be weak as hell if he did.

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  7. If Obama said what really was on his mind, he would be fired from office.

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  8. I think that guy should get the Tat of spongebob lmfao!

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  9. Obama really needs to get out of office. I can't wait intill the next election.

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