If you are an admirer of healthy women, then join me at my new dating site just for admirers of BBW. The site address is: www.TomMaconHotBaconDatingSite.com
You won't find any skinny Minnies here. Everyone of these beauties is packing some extra junk in their trunk. And I don't have to tell you bacon fans what that means. Yep, slap the bacon and ride the wave in boys!
Now for some romantic music to play while you're lighting the candles and dimming the lights:
And if you are more in the mood for getting piggy wit it, then try this one on:
No matter what your mood is, break out the frying pan and throw in a couple of pounds of bacon and get ready to get happy!
So this is a hard decision for me. I have gone all of my live without hitting the ink. I have been dreaming about getting a tattoo on by frontal investment. (No, not there!) I must be going through a midlife crisis or something? Anyway, I made some suggestions to my wife, and she hates them all. I thought maybe a tat of Kermit spanking Ms. Piggy would be cool? Or maybe even a slab of bacon in a frying pan with my domain name underneath? Nothing I came up with seemed to be a good idea. So my wife always has an opinion when it comes to art. Back in 9th grade she won the best of show for use of pastels on art board, and simultaneously won the spelling bee the same year! She is a true artist and competent speller. Somehow as fate would have it, she gave up a career in art for a quick marriage. The twins weren't mine, but I wanted to do the right thing by marring her. If you ever saw the movie, "Me, Myself & Irene", it was loosely based on her relationship with a vertically challenged truck driver that stopped frequently at the Lucky Lou Truck Stop where she worked at the time. One thing led to another and she got dumped off after he discovered she was 3 months pregnant. The difference in real life is that she eventually came back to me, and our kids are better at basketball than scholastics.You'll have to watch the movie to fully understand.
Any who, I fell asleep in the easy chair this morning after a big bacon breakfast, and awoke to my wife on her knees fondling my belly. For a moment, I felt like a teenager again in the back of my Dad's Buick Electra 225... then I realized that she was down there finishing up a homemade tattoo idea she had. I was able to stop her before she drew Patrick in a compromising position. In a conversation with an R&D team leader at the Sharpie Corporation, the maker of the markers; I found out that the markers wear off in about 2 weeks. My wife wants me to get your opinion on what you think I should get as a permanent tattoo. If it helps in your decision making process, my wife has a tattoo of a penicillin syringe on her backside and the individual signatures from every player of her favorite football team. I don't really care for football that much, so probably something pork related is best?
Take care and be sure to let me know what you think.
- Tom Macon
P.S. When I say go off crazy like Obama's translator, here's what I mean:
The following is a video testimonial from a "TomMaconLovesBacon blog" fan! I share it with you because some of you be speadin' da hate related to my passion for bacon. And to all you haters, I just wanted to show you that some of the real-men out there get it! And Danny is the man for stepping up to the plate and giving video witness of his support for bacon and my site. Don't be shy. If you have a bacon fetish, speak up. Come out of the proverbial closet and lay a slab of thick-sliced sweet hickory smoked pork belly in the public cast iron skillet and fry it up brother! Be proud of your affinity for bacon!
Bacon admirer Danny shares with us his favorite Bacon eating Bitch video:
P.S. Danny, thanks for the tip on where to buy lard-based facial cream for my wife. I know if she will use it diligently that the mustache would soften and fade. Great hookup brother, much thanks. - Tom Macon
